Friday, July 15, 2011

some appreciation

i lost a very close friend about a couple of months back and a lot of things just dawned on me. why is it that it is when we loose people, that is when we appreciate them? that is when we say wonderful things about them, say how they influenced us positively, how they gave us a push in the right direction etc. if they could read all those words from beyond the grave... maybe they can... i can't tell, i've never been there.
But essentially, it is important to appreciate the people in our lives. don't belittle anyone. always learn to see the good aspects of others and tell them. I guess the human nature hates being rejected and being taken for a ride. the human nature prefers receiving rather than giving and pouring ourselves out.
What if I tell him how much he means to me and he makes jest of me? What if he just says 'thank you'? Or like my husband, respond by saying 'waow! that's great'... You know those comments that make you feel foolish and make you feel like just clamming up and not pouring out the real way you feel about someone.
Most of the time, we tend not to appreciate the tiny things in others that we see. Some of us are so judgmental that we only see the negative aspects of others. And you know the amazing thing about picking out the negative aspects of others? We tend to become what we constantly focus on. In essence, if we constantly focus on another person's weakness, don't be surprised if you start manifesting that same weakness. Because you have fed so much on it and you are gradually blending and conforming to it. I remember looking and a friend of mine and detesting the fact that she was very blunt... amazingly, I started passing blunt and painful comments about others in a short while.
Life is short. A good friend of mine said, 'focus on the positive aspects of life and do not waste time mourning over the negative aspects'. Learn to appreciate the positive things about the people around you and say it! Have a great day!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Dawn is here...

Woke up this morning so happy and thankful for lots of things. Firstly, that the 'night' time was over.
It isn't like my situation had changed, or the challenges I had been facing were over, but I had this shocking realization... Night time does not last for a lifetime! Dawn is here! Dawn has come.
If you have been putting a lot of your energy into a 'project' and the results you are getting are not proportional to the energy dispersed in a good way, do not fear! Dawn is here!
If you've been bombarded by lots of health challenges, and you keep holding out in faith and it seems not to be working, my dear, it is, hold your breath; Dawn is here!
If you've been looking up to God for your finances, and everything just seems so tight, hey, Dawn is here!
If you've been trying to mend broken bridges in your life and it just seems like the grounds keep failing beneath you; Dawn is here!
If you've been 'sowing' and you don't seem to be reaping, do not faint, God knows there's a likelihood you'd want to give up, but He said, in due season you'd reap, your due season has arrived! Hallelujah! Dawn is here!
If you've been looking for that friend who'd understand you, and be there for you, God says I am more than sufficient for you, Look up to me, Dawn is here!
If you've been seeking for approvals and all you keep getting is disapproval, Ah ha! God says, it's my validation that matters. When I approve, no man can disapprove, look to me, Dawn is here.
If you've been holding out to God in faith, believing He'd come through for you, God says, Baby, I am never late, I am molding you, to be that perfect person for me, Look to me, Dawn is here!
Whatever the challenge is, Dawn is here.
I don't know about you, but I'm getting up, and preparing myself for the morning time, the day time! Yes, I have to be ready! I have to stop focusing on the darkness, and look with glee at the rising sun in my life!
I need to get prepared for the day time; I can't have the same 'notion' or attitude as I had during the night time.
This, I've dedicated to all my friends going through tough times now, dawn is here, get ready for the light, lest it takes you unprepared!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

what women want... from their men

I have heard people say 'women don't know what they want, but they know what they don't want'. I beg to differ. Most ladies know what they want, but would probably keep it to themselves for several reasons. We are not confused beings, we know what we want from our men!

First of all, I'm quite tired of listening to one-sided marriage messages which tells wives to do so and so. Now, I'm giving my one-sided message.

A woman is a reflector. She reflects what she's shown. If a man can understand one basic thing; Paul's letter in the Bible FIRST admonishes men to LOVE their wives, then wives submit to your husbands. Men have the 'action' role, whilst women, 'reaction'. This does not imply that the women should not take the lead at times; but like I said, this is my one-sided message! Lol! Okay, how can men show love? I'm not ready to talk about love languages because I think every woman will want the basic things I'll list. We want our men to do the 'chasing'. Hey, show us you love us by saying it constantly, communicating constantly via calls, sms, emails, facebook, blackberry... Please the list of communication features is endless.

We want our men to treat us like we are important and no one else matters. Listen to us and ease our fears. Don't treat our 'vision' like it is of no value or importance; or that it is not as important as yours! Also, share your vision with us. Tell us where you plan to be in the future and our 'place' in that vision.

We want our men to be able to sight us amidst the crowd and tell us how much we stand out and why he really loves us. Shower us with attention amidst others and make us feel loved and 'wanted'.

We want our men to constantly tell us they love us; and also SHOW it. Love is not only in saying, but is in action. In every single way you can show love, show it.

We want our men to be the spiritual heads of the relationship and the home. It's not like we are dormant christians, but we need you to take the lead!

For ladies, showing love is easy. We can give our lives for the man who loves us. Like a Robert Kelly's song says; 'when a woman loves, she loves for real'. We go out of our way to please the men in our lives. But if we realise that we are virtually making the efforts and our men are sitting down and 'enjoying the view', we tend to grow weary. It's only the GOD in us, and the conviction we have that keeps us going.

We deserve to be loved and shown love. So for all men out there, please learn to show love.

Monday, February 28, 2011

who do you look at?

Well, I decided not to write until I've finally weaned my baby off breast milk. No one was born a mother, you daily learn how to handle situations that come with having an extra person that depends on you (note that I said an extra person...).
Well, I had always wondered how I was going to wean her because my heart always breaks anytime she cries! I had considered 'dumping' her with my parents when I get to Nigeria, and leaving the responsibility of weaning to them.
I also secretly wondered why my husband was not helping me, seeing that I was drowning in this breastfeeding business (But I never asked in all fairness to him).
My mum called me, gave me an inspirational talk on how God's strength is on my inside and that I should just take a stand and wean her. She further explained that the baby would cry, but I should just take a stand.
Well, on the faithful friday night, I moved out of my room (so that my husband can have his good night rest) and I let Dara cry it out. Oh my! I kept reciting to myself, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Truthfully, I wept with her, but after about 3 agonizing hours, she fell asleep and slept all through the night (for the very first time).
It dawned on me that i had looked to others as my 'source' of help, and in fact, I had hard feelings because they didn't offer any form of help! The strength to do all things had been imbibed in me by God, all I needed was to draw on it. Yep, it was not easy, because, I wasn't even aware that I had that strength.
In trying times, who do you look at?
I know that at times we expect God to use people to help us, but I've come to realise that God does not follow our thought patterns at all. He has His own plan and He'd accomplish it His way, not our way.
Meditating on some parts of the new testament, the pharisees didn't believe Jesus was the messiah they expected because they expected that the messiah would overthrow the then current king Herod. And, the way they expected their 'help' to come was not fulfilled, so, He definitely isn't the help!
Sounds funny, but most of us are that way these days. We dictate to God the way and method we want Him to play His part in our lives.
But God wants us to sit back and let Him take the wheels of our lives and the challenges we face.
In all situations and circumstances, look to Him who has the key, the power, the ability, the all to sort things out and amaze you beyond your expectations.
Do have a wonderful month ahead!
(image source:">Image: graur codrin /

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Broken Innocence

Happy new year! I've been away for a while and could not just get a system to browse. Well, now I'm back; and God helping me, I'll keep pouring out my undiluted thoughts into this blog.
A while back, a friend of mine informed me about another friend's wedding (a lot of my friends seem to be getting married this year by the way), and I was so excited. I started making plans on how I'd get to Nigeria in order to attend this my friend's wedding and all of a sudden, a nagging thought kept coming back to my head, 'well, they didn't attend yours, why bother?'. I kept battling with this thought and I mentioned it to my husband (considering that he'd be handling my expenses anyway), and he said, 'you have no obligation'.
But I felt so unsettled when I made the decision that I wasn't going. My mind kept going to my daughter... hold that thought...
Okay, another scenario is calling people to say 'happy birthday' or texting, or not saying anything at all. I realised that i had developed the horrible habit of calling those who called me, and texting those who texted me... and for those who don't bother, hmm, I still call or text depending on my mood.
When did life get this complicated? When did we grow to a stage where we had to repay everyone in their own currency?
I look at my child's attitude right now, and at 15 months, she throws tantrums if she doesn't get her way, she plays a lot, takes risks like climbing furnitures, opening the ovens etc.
Anytime she does not get her way or I take 'something' I perceive to be dangerous away from her, or I make her unhappy, she starts crying. But do you know the interesting thing? She still comes to me amidst the tears to cuddle her! Now, that's the heart of a baby!
Learns to let go of past hurts immediately, does not mete evil for evil!
Life is so much simpler that way.
I'm not perfect... In fact, I battle with most of these thoughts a lot.
But, I'm learning. And I'm sharing this with those who might have been hurt by someone. And you are in a dilemma as to whether to spend their currency, or just yours, or better still, Christ's currency... I believe God ultimately wants us to develop that childlike innocence, where, you take everyone as they come and expect them to hurt you. And when they do, 'dust' yourself and move on. Don't hold on and become a bitter, and angry person (no one likes such and you are just hurting yourself). Leave the past behind and open your arms wide towards the person.
Life is beautiful. Live it without restrictions.
P.S: Temilolu, thanks so much for reminding me about blogging!