PAUSE AND THINK…

My meditations this morning and I thought I should share it; have fun reading and I hope you get something out of it like I did!

You know how you always like to know what’s ahead of you….

-Easy now, don’t jump the gun… For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Ditch the apprehension, get excited!

You know when you have that feeling like you are struggling with something and it seems like no one is interested in what you are going through?

-I want you to stop struggling, let go and let me catch you, let me hold you, and take you through this challenge step by step so you are tried and tested; through and through.

You know how you feel when you have poured out your heart to someone and the person takes that information to someone else and it becomes their ‘gist’?

-I want you to be able to pour out your heart to me, I listen, I’m your friend, I’m interested and I’ll only tell people who I know can help you (*winks*)

When you feel hurt by someone you love and the feelings of resentment keep swelling within you and you really don’t know what to do;

-Turn to me, I am your healer. Talk to me, I know your thoughts and I definitely have a way forward for you.

When you feel like all your friends have left you, they don’t call you, they don’t seem to care and making new ones is proving difficult;

-I am here for you. I am the friend who is forever near. You need no airtime to talk to me!

When you have some weird thoughts going through your mind that you can’t even share with anyone tell me about them, I know your thoughts.

When you are confused on a certain issue and are expecting me to thunder from heaven, in that loud voice, saying, ‘my daughter, this is what you should do…’;

- It’s not like I can’t do that, however, I need you to pause and not focus on the challenge. Listen for me to direct you. Be anxious for nothing, the anxiety hinders you from hearing my voice. Take a bold step forward in faith and clarity would come. Remember when the Israelites were standing the red sea before them, the Egyptians behind them, Moses said, ‘stand still and you’ll see the salvation of the Lord’; I said, GO FORWARD.

When it seems to you like your prayer points to me are the same, all you do is re-word it so it does not sound like repetition… and you keep wondering if I heard or if you’ve still got a long way to go on the “keep asking… and you shall receive” timeline?

-I know! I heard you the first time. There are several reasons you have not ‘seen’ a response; retune your focus - not on the physical but the spiritual... You probably need to hear this again... I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU... I’m working it all out. Oh that the eyes of your understanding would be enlightened- then, you’ll know that I don’t stall!

(Image source: "http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1539">Image: xedos4 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

VALENTINE’S DAY… FROM MY EYES

So, what’s it about Valentine’s day that people get to scream about? I’ll try to walk through the different opinions of people I've come across here.

It’s a day a guy gets a girl some gifts and the girl shows it off, ‘He loves me’ J.

A day some guys show a girl they are actually interested in her by getting her a gift and not addressing it (has this happened to you before?).

A day some guys see as getting into a girls pants because they got her suya, or blackberry…

A day some guys think they should pray and fast about because they don’t believe in Valentine;

A day some girls get to sulk and wonder if they are beautiful, I mean, why am I not been showered with presents? And my room mate got from 5 different guys! Can’t the love go around?

A day some of those ‘spiritual brothers’ we know claim they don’t believe in, whilst their girlfriends (did I say girlfriends??? Scratch that! Fiance or Fedora) stop themselves from revolting due to the fear of being tagged as ungodly.

A day to show love… A love, which is not really understood by lots of people.

Okay, so how do I view Valentine’s Day? I’ll be truthful. I passed through different phases in life. The phase of believing that Vals day should be celebrated, just because I wanted to prove to others that my boyfriend loved me.

The truth is if I need to prove it to others, probably I’m in doubt of that love myself.

I recall a definition of love which I’d like to call upon now, love is a decision. Have you ever had a hot argument with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé, fiancée etc. that it just seems like thoughts of resentment are just going through your head??? At that point, you’ll know that loving could be a challenge. It’s at that point I have to let go of the resentment, apologise even when I don’t feel I’m wrong but because I know I’ve hurt his feelings during my vendetta to win the argument. That’s my decision, to love him no matter what…

Did I just digress? Okay, Valentine love is the ‘giving love’. Love gives. Gives, irrespective of how it feels (that’s if love has feelings). It gives even when it does not have enough. It gives when giving seems impossible. Giving is not limited to material gifts. It includes giving my time, my listening ears when you are down, sacrificial giving when it’s not convenient… I really can’t exhaust this list.

Now should this love be shared on just one day? As a lady, I’ve been wowed several times by my husband just coming home with a lovely dress from a store (it was neither Christmas nor my birthday). I’ve also had him share my pain, even when I’m wrong and I’m expecting him to say, ‘serves you right’ or ‘I told you so’; he just stayed there and consoled me whilst I licked my wounds. Do I only want to get this attention on Vals day? Emphatically No!

And lest I forget, giving is a two way street. I know people who like receiving, but find it difficult to give. I’ve heard guys ask, ‘why is it only girls that should receive gifts on vals?’ Simple, some girls finds it difficult to give. Girls/ladies are sometimes plagued by, ‘I don’t want it to seem like I’m the person giving my all in this relationship and he is just sitting and sipping cocktail, expecting me to bow at his every command’.

The truth is, ladies/girls who feel this way need to deal with the feelings themselves. These feelings can’t be healed by a partner’s attention or activities. It can only be dealt with by ignoring what people think. People are entitled to their opinions, and trust me, they’ll have one irrespective of if you act or don’t act!

In summary, in the bid to celebrate love on a particular day, I’d say, love should be celebrated every day. Love should be given and showed everyday by both parties. If your days are filled with constant giving and sharing, there’ll be no hassles over the celebration of valentine; because, it would be like every normal day.

If you don't get some, give some

Hello, I feel like it has been ages since I’ve written, apologies dears. Let me say happy New Year and happy new month. I just had this break from writing because I wanted to write things that really had depth, not just write for the sake of it.

Okay, down to it; have you ever felt like you keep putting out your loving hand towards people and they seem to shove it down your throat (literally)? Or you keep trying to be nice to people and they don’t reciprocate? Oh yes, this one happens frequently, you keep trying to show respect to people and it seems that you even can’t do that quite right in their perception? If you’ve been in any of these situations, you’ll agree with me that it does suck! You keep putting your best foot forward and the foot gets crushed (and the list goes on…)

So I had this phase in my life when I just decided that some people were not just worth a brass farthing, I was not hustling to keep in touch with anyone or be nice to them. And for those I could not avoid, I was just walking on eggshells around them, and oh boy, that ain’t easy.

This resolve made me feel better on some points, but after a while, I realised that I was fast becoming a bitter woman. You know that feeling when you are chatting with someone and another person’s name comes up; and your heart lurches inside you; if you are a controlled person (or simply don’t like showing your feelings), you’d keep quiet. But if you are that person that everything that passes through your head must be voiced out, then everyone would know you have a thing against that person.

Soon, you’ll be no fun to talk to, because you always have one bitter comment or the other to pass about someone else. On the other hand, if you hide your feelings, you’ll constantly be so pained and might tend to react irrationally in certain situations. The other person might just keep wondering why you’ve gone so moody, if only they knew it was just a name!

Just so you know, I’ve been there, done that before. I’ve spoken my feelings about people I felt treated me unfairly, I’ve let the feelings eat me up and whilst I was sulking about it, I was just not nice to anyone. Well, I’m assuming you can picture the trend I was beginning to observe, here it is-my bitterness was affecting ME and not the people I was bitter towards. Hence, I knew I needed to change, and this action had to occur quickly.

So what were my steps to in trying to get out of this rut???

First of all, I had to constantly tell myself, ‘not everyone will like you, and if they don’t, don’t make it your problem, it’s theirs to deal with’. For a person like me- who enjoys being liked by everyone, that was a really difficult thing to say to myself. I still walk through it today. Just like I don’t fancy everyone, I should not expect everyone to fancy me, simple!

Second, don’t be a people pleaser. A people pleaser is someone who wants to please everyone just so they can say he/she is ‘nice’. Note that the person does not factor God into her people pleasing tasks. All he or she is particular about is that they want to look good or nice in other people’s eyes. Okay, I know some people feel people pleasers are simply those who always accommodate other peoples’ feelings. But if you do accommodate other peoples’ feelings, then you should understand how they feel when they don’t reciprocate (or accommodate your feelings).

If you want to break off totally from the people pleaser's syndrome, all you need do is to focus on how God feels about your actions. Is God happy if I say hello to her despite her ignoring me the last time I said hi? The thing is, what God wants is not necessarily what you want at times (unless of course, you’ve aligned yourself to Him in a way that His thoughts are constantly streaming through you). Okay, so God is happy, I’m taking her to the market, and not expecting her to pull through for me in future. Show love and don’t look out for the person’s reaction. Show respect to everyone (it removes nothing from you), and when they criticise you, smile and make amends. Don’t take offense at the fact that you’ve been putting in all your effort and it just seems like it’s the tiny oversights you make that are amplified way out of proportion. Just see it this way, ‘you are coming out like GOLD’.

The idea is to continually give, and not expect that same person to reciprocate the giving. It’s difficult, trust me, but it’s one of the ways you can live a worry free and bitter free life! God help us all.