Monday, February 13, 2012


So, what’s it about Valentine’s day that people get to scream about? I’ll try to walk through the different opinions of people I've come across here.

It’s a day a guy gets a girl some gifts and the girl shows it off, ‘He loves me’ J.

A day some guys show a girl they are actually interested in her by getting her a gift and not addressing it (has this happened to you before?).

A day some guys see as getting into a girls pants because they got her suya, or blackberry…

A day some guys think they should pray and fast about because they don’t believe in Valentine;

A day some girls get to sulk and wonder if they are beautiful, I mean, why am I not been showered with presents? And my room mate got from 5 different guys! Can’t the love go around?

A day some of those ‘spiritual brothers’ we know claim they don’t believe in, whilst their girlfriends (did I say girlfriends??? Scratch that! Fiance or Fedora) stop themselves from revolting due to the fear of being tagged as ungodly.

A day to show love… A love, which is not really understood by lots of people.

Okay, so how do I view Valentine’s Day? I’ll be truthful. I passed through different phases in life. The phase of believing that Vals day should be celebrated, just because I wanted to prove to others that my boyfriend loved me.

The truth is if I need to prove it to others, probably I’m in doubt of that love myself.

I recall a definition of love which I’d like to call upon now, love is a decision. Have you ever had a hot argument with your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé, fiancée etc. that it just seems like thoughts of resentment are just going through your head??? At that point, you’ll know that loving could be a challenge. It’s at that point I have to let go of the resentment, apologise even when I don’t feel I’m wrong but because I know I’ve hurt his feelings during my vendetta to win the argument. That’s my decision, to love him no matter what…

Did I just digress? Okay, Valentine love is the ‘giving love’. Love gives. Gives, irrespective of how it feels (that’s if love has feelings). It gives even when it does not have enough. It gives when giving seems impossible. Giving is not limited to material gifts. It includes giving my time, my listening ears when you are down, sacrificial giving when it’s not convenient… I really can’t exhaust this list.

Now should this love be shared on just one day? As a lady, I’ve been wowed several times by my husband just coming home with a lovely dress from a store (it was neither Christmas nor my birthday). I’ve also had him share my pain, even when I’m wrong and I’m expecting him to say, ‘serves you right’ or ‘I told you so’; he just stayed there and consoled me whilst I licked my wounds. Do I only want to get this attention on Vals day? Emphatically No!

And lest I forget, giving is a two way street. I know people who like receiving, but find it difficult to give. I’ve heard guys ask, ‘why is it only girls that should receive gifts on vals?’ Simple, some girls finds it difficult to give. Girls/ladies are sometimes plagued by, ‘I don’t want it to seem like I’m the person giving my all in this relationship and he is just sitting and sipping cocktail, expecting me to bow at his every command’.

The truth is, ladies/girls who feel this way need to deal with the feelings themselves. These feelings can’t be healed by a partner’s attention or activities. It can only be dealt with by ignoring what people think. People are entitled to their opinions, and trust me, they’ll have one irrespective of if you act or don’t act!

In summary, in the bid to celebrate love on a particular day, I’d say, love should be celebrated every day. Love should be given and showed everyday by both parties. If your days are filled with constant giving and sharing, there’ll be no hassles over the celebration of valentine; because, it would be like every normal day.


  1. Good work ma...I agree with u on all should be an every day practice. Is it then right to say love should be our lifestyle?

    1. I finally get to reply! Yep, love IS our lifestyle. If God is love and we are God's heirs, then it most definitely is our lifestyle. Thanks Tola