Tuesday, September 14, 2010

what will you choose?

(Source:"http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=982">Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

I went bowling recently with my husband's friends and their wives(it was a 'couple thing'). Prior to the decision to bowl, I received an sms saying that i should come in a sports outfit... Wow, i didn't have! And I wasn't ready to buy any.
Well, my husband went out that morning and got me a nice lacoste polo dress(quite romantic ain't it?). I tried it on, and it was some inches above my knee... If you know me pretty well, you'd know that I rarely wear dresses or skirts. I'm very comfortable in my pair of jeans. I just didn't feel comfortable in the dress.
As I bent to throw the bowling ball, I thought to myself, 'Oh my God! I'm advertising my private things to the whole world'! Lol!
Sincerely, the dress wasn't bad... I just felt uncomfortable in it.
It made me think about the narrow gate and the wide gate that was written in Matthew 7. Now what about that???
It says that the road to eternity is narrow and a few people find it. When driving on a narrow road, you don't have many options. You have to drive as close to the kerb as possible to avoid obstructing the opposing traffic. But on a wider lane, there are several manoeuvres you can perform without obstructing traffic.
Similarly, there are several things you just might not be able to indulge in, just so you can make eternity.
All those 'grey areas'... why not avoid them altogether?
Now, the reason why these thoughts kept haunting me was because I had started thinking , 'Well, there's nothing wrong with wearing short skirts or dresses...' (but the first time I indulged in a dress slightly above my knee, I felt like I was doing something wrong (religion??)). There are several grey areas, e.g. 'there's nothing wrong with kissing my boy/girlfriend' (I mean, God placed these feelings in us); 'there's nothing wrong in premarital sex' (how would we know if we are compatible) etc. The list is endless.
As for me, I choose the narrow gate/way... I'd rather not indulge in the 'grey areas' than find out in the end that I actually missed it.
What about you? What will you choose???

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

my thots

i realize that way back in uni, i had some friends i totally clicked with some, how i kept 'struggling' to click with some and how i just didn't bother about some.
i remember that i always wanted to treat people the way they treated me. If she pays me a visit, I'd most definitely retaliate. If I realize that i seem to love her more than she loves me, i reduce my love.
The truth be told, we all want to be treated nicely. We all want to be loved more than we love. I mean, we love making 'withdrawals' but not making 'deposits'. I've heard people say that it's good to love without expecting anything in return (that's the God kinda love), really?????????
Yep, God doesn't expect anything in return (or does He?).... Let's think it through...
He does things for us, but I believe that His intention is clear. But HE DOES expect us to love Him in return, though it isn't the sole reason for His action. Ultimately,we are not forced into loving Him in return...
I think it sounds better that way. Similarly, it would be totally unfair to place unnecessary yokes on other people, expecting them to love us as much as we love them... but we love them anyway.
Well, in conclusion, love others without hindrance... If you find that person that you totally click with (you love and she loves you with the same intensity), hold on to that person...
Life is beautiful and Friends make it worth it.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


a lot of things have happened lately that has really challenged my belief on certain things. that's why i decided to do a research on this topic, and i'd be writing a lot about it.
What is love?
Everyone has their definition for it, but what are the definitions based on? Due to a lot of romantic novels, movies and music etc that we might have read, listened to or seen in the past, we tend to identify love as a feeling (probably the way you feel when you are with a person, some sort of current passes through you when he touches you...)
Enough of that, I've also heard that love is a choice. Meaning that when you don't feel like loving someone, you choose to love the person.
This STILL doesn't define love.
Love is God and God is Love. Now this really sounds vague as most of us don't even know the characteristics of God.
Up from God's relationship with Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Israel, the apostles and me, I've come to these few conclusions which I'm learning to apply in my life as the meaning of love
  • love disciplines you when you go wrong, but doesn't leave you to keep feeling bad
  • love doesn't hold on to mistakes made by the other party/person
  • love cares about 'tiny' things that bother the other party/person
  • love does not ask or think 'what about me?'
  • love strives to bring out the best in the other party/person
  • love never gives up
  • love does not condemn
I can go on and on... but i'd stop here for now. And do me a favor, 'show some love today'

Saturday, June 26, 2010

That voice...

I've had a lot on my mind lately. Had to turn in some assignments and I've just been busy generally.
Learning to build and nuture the 'relationships' you have is very important in life. When it comes to the 'boy-girl' relationship, everyone has their own philosophy. Some believe that there are particular questions to ask, to know if the person, in question, is 'right' for them. Others believe that God has to 'thunder' from heaven before they can choose their partners. Others just simply feel that if they like someone, it's enough reason, to start a committed relationship.
For me, I feel that each situation has its place.
I know, of a truth, that if you already like someone, you'll hear God raining the person's name into your ears! If the feelings are already there, then, how do you really choose between your feelings and God's words (we all know feelings also speaks at times).
You developing feelings for someone is not wrong in any way, God moulded and formed us that way. But the art of differentiating what you 'feel' and what God wants is usually learnt. For instance, my 8 month old baby can not differentiate between the sound of her rattler and the sound of a dangerous rattle snake. If she probably sees a snake now, she'd be fascinated (as usual) and might want to touch it or play with it. But as she grows older, she'd most definitely know the difference and know danger when she sees it.
similarly, we 'learn' God's feelings and thoughts towards us by reading His word.
When we get familiar with His word, we'd know His voice, cus His word and His voice don't contradict themselves. This applies to every area of our lives. There will be times we would hear that voice loud and clear, there'd be times that we might need to separate ourselves so we can hear Him whisper into our ears and there are also times that we just KNOW that this is what He is saying.
This stage can only be attained by consistent closeness to God. Most people want the 'closeness', but are not ready to sacrifice to get it. Really, we live in a 'fast' world and similarly, we are not patient enough to let God teach us the ropes, we want to jump and be at the top immediately!
But God patiently brings us back to the point where we realize that learning the ropes and using the ropes to get to the top brings out the best in us.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

the prodigal child

Before getting married, a lot of people naturally advice you. They tell you the dos and don'ts, ask you if you are prepared, or out-rightly tell you that they think you are too young. Before I got married, amidst all the counsels, there were some that stuck. One of them, I'd like to share. My friend's dad told me to study on the prodigal son in the Bible, and that it was very important that I drew a lesson from him.
Well, I had read that portion of the Bible a million and one times, but I just couldn't fathom what he wanted me to learn from him.
One day, it hit me. The prodigal son first of all wasn't happy to be ruled by his dad. Else, why would he want his inheritance whilst his father was still alive? He probably didn't appreciate all the father was doing and he must have thought to himself 'I can do better than Dad... I'll be better off on my own with the right resources'. Furthermore the son was just not ready emotionally, psychologically, etc for that kind of wealth. That's why he mismanaged it.
Likewise, if you don't appreciate where you are, you are not meant to start a serious relationship or get married. If the reason for starting either is because you feel incomplete and sad without it, or you feel your life would be better off in it, you'd most likely mismanage the relationship even if you have the right resources (eg a loving man or woman).
At that point in my life, I didn't like my 'home'. I always felt that they didn't appreciate me enough, there's nothing I can do right in their sight etc. But once that realization struck me (I was married already by the way), I realized how I was mismanaging the resources in my marriage. I had carried in the same mentality!
But my situation wasn't beyond repair, I got on my knees immediately and asked God to forgive me for not appreciating my folks enough, and I called them right away.
After doing this, my attitude changed. I saw things in a different light.
In conclusion, don't get married or start a committed relationship because you think the land at the other side is greener (though it is) or because you are tired of being single... There are many flimsy reasons which would lead to you mismanaging the relationship.
Have something more concrete to start off a committed relationship on.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Strong Will

Being a mum can be a bit challenging. It's a big responsibility, you try to do things right, because it seems like your weak points can be advertised to the world. And really, there are times, I need a break... Time off from the everyday chores, time off from my wonderful baby, don't get me wrong... I need ME TIME at times. So on this particular day, my brother-in-law took me to see a movie(without my princess). And well, my husband was left to babysit. This movie (avatar) was quite long and interesting! So, my peaceful baby at home, got cranky. My husband and his brothers tried all they could, but my little princess just kept crying (I want my mum!). They rushed out to buy formula(which by the way, she had never had), she rejected it. They took her for a walk (well, which she naturally loves), she kept weeping! After 30 minutes of continuous wailing, they decided to come and get me from the cinema.
When I got home, I immediately fed her, hmmm, and she calmed down.
Now, she was just about 4 months old, but she knew what she wanted and she wasn't satisfied with a substitute. And she stayed resolute till she got it!
Similarly, in life, we all should not do what we would naturally not do because we want to please others. Yeah, there are times we want to be nice, and we end up compromising, but experience has taught me that you'll still end up as the 'bad guy' anyway.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying we should be nasty, or we shouldn't make sacrifices, but we should not make sacrifices that would compromise our stand. Don't do things just because you want to look like the 'nice girl'. I once had this problem, I loved pleasing people, but in the long run, I get stressed trying to meet everyones expectations. There are times that I still indulge in this act, God help me, and it pays off at times, and other times, it doesn't. The idea is that I end up presenting a wrong picture of myself. But I learnt a vital lesson, 25% of people you meet would like you unconditionally, 25% would like you, but can change their minds, 25% would dislike you unconditionally and the last 25% would dislike you, but can change their minds (Joel Osteen). Okay, so why waste precious energy trying to change a person that might dislike me unconditionally?
So my position right now, I help people when I can, at times, I still go out of my way to do things for others, but what I would not do, I would not do! Have a great week people!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Relationship Handbook 1

Hmm, after seeing this title, I wonder what must be in your mind... the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of relationships... how to start a relationship... how to maintain a relationship... perhaps for some, the title is a simple turn-off! Hold it pls, and hear me out.
Really, for me, 'relationships' are intriguing. This is because no 'two people' are similar. Yep, so what works for a particular friendship, might not necessarily work for another. I remember someone asking for my advice when she just started a relationship with a guy. Well, I spoke to her based on my experience, but the truth is... my experience didn't work for her.
So then, what is the handbook for a relationship?
In my opinion, I don't think there's any.
Well, if each person follows God closely, allows Him to take charge of their lives, learns to make room for the other person's weaknesses (pls, we all have some weak points), stop placing people on pedestals, learns to live at peace... I can draw a lot of points... But the most important thing is learning to apply them.
Really, this is where most of us are usually swamped. Applying those things we know. I've been hurt by friends and obviously, the first thing I do, is to 'x' them from my friend's list. Okay, this is the way I would naturally act, you hurt me, I run, so you don't have the opportunity to do it again. But well, my 'running' doesn't mean I don't have hard feelings, well yeah, I do! But I try avoiding you so that I don't have to mistakenly bring it up, and get hurt again by your response.
Hmm, a yoruba adage says that it's the person that sleeps close to you on the bed that can roll over you. In essence, it's your close friend that hurts u the most.
well, i had to stop running at on point in my life... I'll share that in my part 2.
Well, I decided to make this a short one... I can go on and on, but let's rest here for today. Hope you enjoyed it sha...