Tuesday, May 25, 2010

the prodigal child

Before getting married, a lot of people naturally advice you. They tell you the dos and don'ts, ask you if you are prepared, or out-rightly tell you that they think you are too young. Before I got married, amidst all the counsels, there were some that stuck. One of them, I'd like to share. My friend's dad told me to study on the prodigal son in the Bible, and that it was very important that I drew a lesson from him.
Well, I had read that portion of the Bible a million and one times, but I just couldn't fathom what he wanted me to learn from him.
One day, it hit me. The prodigal son first of all wasn't happy to be ruled by his dad. Else, why would he want his inheritance whilst his father was still alive? He probably didn't appreciate all the father was doing and he must have thought to himself 'I can do better than Dad... I'll be better off on my own with the right resources'. Furthermore the son was just not ready emotionally, psychologically, etc for that kind of wealth. That's why he mismanaged it.
Likewise, if you don't appreciate where you are, you are not meant to start a serious relationship or get married. If the reason for starting either is because you feel incomplete and sad without it, or you feel your life would be better off in it, you'd most likely mismanage the relationship even if you have the right resources (eg a loving man or woman).
At that point in my life, I didn't like my 'home'. I always felt that they didn't appreciate me enough, there's nothing I can do right in their sight etc. But once that realization struck me (I was married already by the way), I realized how I was mismanaging the resources in my marriage. I had carried in the same mentality!
But my situation wasn't beyond repair, I got on my knees immediately and asked God to forgive me for not appreciating my folks enough, and I called them right away.
After doing this, my attitude changed. I saw things in a different light.
In conclusion, don't get married or start a committed relationship because you think the land at the other side is greener (though it is) or because you are tired of being single... There are many flimsy reasons which would lead to you mismanaging the relationship.
Have something more concrete to start off a committed relationship on.